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Saturday, December 12, 2015

thinkings....

Do you ever feel like you need to say something, but you aren't sure what you want to say.. unsure of how it'l chose to tumble from your mouth this time and if anybody will be interested and if you'll feel a pinch of regret about how it sounded or even saying it at all...
Do you ever wonder if people feel the things that you do...
I can sit and stare at someone and see only what they chose to show me but behind their eyes way way back, sometimes i see a hint of what they are trying to hide, or secretly wishing I knew..  Just a quick peek of the strong safe walls they have built up over the years and part of my heart shatters and squeezes inside of me... I don't know if they can tell that I've seen their secrets... Maybe they don't know they have secrets. Maybe they felt a stab of fear as i caught a glimpse of their heart, and quickly tried to make me forget...
Maybe they have been waiting all their life for someone to see their scars.
Sometimes I wonder If anybody feels things as deeply as I do. And than i think, they can't. Unless they hide the parts where they have to almost physically hold their heart down to keep it from jumping out of their chest... and the parts where they catch a glimpse of someones deep hurts and tears start falling without asking...


Why do we try to hide the most important stuff from each other.

When all we want is someone to love US, plus all our scars and bandages.. we hide and shrink from saying anything too personal... anything that might let people in a little too far.

These are the things i wonder.

Life is crazy. and awesome and messy and beautiful, full of heart hiccups, and heart healing hugs, and smiles and love. Full of mornings and daydreams and long walks and wonderment.

I feel like this was just a huuge word vomit of 1/1000th of all the thoughts that bop around in my head at the same time. Lol. Hopefully you don't feel thoroughly puked on. <3

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