Autumn Happiness

Contentment

my dishwasher's humming

a pink and orange sunset burning the blue sky outside my window

new pink mouse with watermelons on it makes computer time so much more fun;)

fresh flowers from a little grandma visitor this afternoon:)

warm hands from my hot london fog i'm sippin on

fall garlands hung in our new little schoolhouse

tiny white pumpkins in birdcages

outside the trees are turning scarlet

warm air rushing out of the registers by my feet

1 autumny dress cut out on my table waiting to be finished and worn

2 candles burning: vanilla pumpkin marshmallow and hot fudge brownie

another day at work, done.

another happy smile as I look around at my new surroundings

feeling more and more settled every day

living out in the country...

so incredibly happy and blessed.

Autumn, the most incredible, beautiful, crispy cold cozy crunchy season

Im in love with the world

"content"

The Best Year

Out with the Old and in with the New!

2015

3 Favorite memories: 

1. Our Floridian friends Rusty and Stacia staying at our house when they came for a wedding, it was one of the highlights of the year. Kindred spirits are awesome:)

2. Christmas! It's always a time of making special memories for life.

3.  The big family getaway to Muskoka in summer! Lots of boating, paddle boarding.. Beach... singing in the dark around the campfire.. It was amazing.

3 Things I'm grateful for:

1. Family. I am so extremely blessed and loved.

2. Beautiful things. Sunsets, frosty winter mornings full of sunshine, evenings cuddling in front of the wood stove, blessings galore.

3. That God will never leave or forsake me.

1 hard lesson learned:

My relationship with Christ cannot grow if I don't water it every day.

1 thing I did this year that I'm proud of:

At the end of this year, I made the decision to be kinder. Kinder to myself, my physical, mental and spiritual well being, and kinder to others. Sometimes we can get into a habit of assuming the worst in people and always having something nasty or negative to say about someone, but I do not want to be that person. I want to see people through Jesus' eyes, with love and compassion and understanding in all situations. It's hard and takes effort, but makes my life happier and more blessed when I succeed.

2016

3 places I want to go:

1. To the mountains

2. To Florida

3. To the beach more:)

3 ways I can help others:

1. By being patient and understanding with everyone

2. Praying earnestly for people. I used to do this alot, and names would come to me as I was praying and sometimes the list got pretty long, but I felt like there was always a reason that I was supposed to pray for that person, even if i didn't know what it was.

3. By being 100% submitted to God. I want to be able to be a witness for Him this year more than ever.

3 things I want to get better at: 

1. Keeping my house clean and organized.

2. Cooking. I'm good at making good food, but I want to enjoy it more and be adventurous and healthy in my creations.

3. Being a kinder, happier person.

3 things I am looking forward to:

1. Going on a road trip to a reunion in Kentucky in June!!! woohoo!!!

2. Meeting a new little nephew or niece in summer!!:)

3. An entire year of possibilities. God has blessed us so richly in the last year, and I just know this year will not disappoint either.

3 new things I want to try:

1. Going out of my comfort zone. Beautiful things can happen when you take that step!

2. Being adventurous. Life is beautiful and short and flying by!

3. MY health and happiness being a priority. Gym membership, CHECK! I want to feel GOOD.

thinkings....

Do you ever feel like you need to say something, but you aren't sure what you want to say.. unsure of how it'l chose to tumble from your mouth this time and if anybody will be interested and if you'll feel a pinch of regret about how it sounded or even saying it at all...
Do you ever wonder if people feel the things that you do...
I can sit and stare at someone and see only what they chose to show me but behind their eyes way way back, sometimes i see a hint of what they are trying to hide, or secretly wishing I knew..  Just a quick peek of the strong safe walls they have built up over the years and part of my heart shatters and squeezes inside of me... I don't know if they can tell that I've seen their secrets... Maybe they don't know they have secrets. Maybe they felt a stab of fear as i caught a glimpse of their heart, and quickly tried to make me forget...
Maybe they have been waiting all their life for someone to see their scars.
Sometimes I wonder If anybody feels things as deeply as I do. And than i think, they can't. Unless they hide the parts where they have to almost physically hold their heart down to keep it from jumping out of their chest... and the parts where they catch a glimpse of someones deep hurts and tears start falling without asking...


Why do we try to hide the most important stuff from each other.

When all we want is someone to love US, plus all our scars and bandages.. we hide and shrink from saying anything too personal... anything that might let people in a little too far.

These are the things i wonder.

Life is crazy. and awesome and messy and beautiful, full of heart hiccups, and heart healing hugs, and smiles and love. Full of mornings and daydreams and long walks and wonderment.

I feel like this was just a huuge word vomit of 1/1000th of all the thoughts that bop around in my head at the same time. Lol. Hopefully you don't feel thoroughly puked on. <3

Fall

The Favorites of Fall:)

1. Favorite Fall scent?
I have to be cliché and say.. pumpkin everything!!! and of course the smell of crunchy leaves, apple cider and cold breezes<3
 2. Best way to spend a rainy day?
Curled up in a blanket with a cup of hot tea and a book or a notepad:) Didn't even have to think.
 3. Favorite Fall Drink?
Oh dear. I love hot drinks.. Maple hot tea, white hot chocolate or Cranberry apple cider.
4. Favorite article of clothing this Fall?
BOOTS!!! Also scarves, cozy sweaters, and slippers. everything warm and fluffy:)
5. What is your favorite thing to do in Fall?
Make candles.. and go to Fall festivals and fall craft shows:)
6. Favorite fall dessert?
Harvest Chip muffins. pumpkin muffins with chocolate chips and a cream cheese layer...Nuf said.
7. What is your Favorite thing about Fall?
The beautiful vibrant reds and oranges overtaking the forests and the smell of harvest.
8. Favorite Fall food?
Chili and cornbread. or Any soup:)
9. Favorite fall candle?
I'm a candle girl. Asking me to pick a favorite candle is like asking a mother to pick a favorite child. I'll tell you some candles I LOVE. :)  Pumpkin Caramel Swirl from Bath and Body Works. SO sweet, caramelly and pumpkiny... AMAZING. Pumpkin Applewood.. I just poured a batch of this scent and it smells absolutely Heavenly. Pumpkin and apple, a combination which is not usually my favorite, However! This has a hint of  sweetness and smoked cider or SOMETHING and it smells.. like one of the best smells in the world. Maple Syrup candles I make also... soo amazing. Also pumpkin crumble. :O Just.. all the smells<3
10. Favorite fall accessory?
A scarf to warm me up around my neck and mittens.
11. Favorite fall month?
September. When fall first arrives and the thrill of the chilly air and crunchy leaves and everything else i talked about already.:)
12. Favorite Fall memory?
Fall of 2012:) It took place in Ukraine and all of it was magical and perfectly thrilling<3

You all should answer some or all of these questions:)

Nostalgic ramblings and Autumn

What is it about new seasons...
Autumn.
it makes me inhale deeper and smile more...
A skip in my step and a fresh breeze burns its way through my lungs and chills my skin in such a lovely way...
I get to put on boots :):):) and scarves. And layers and layers of lovely thick sweaters and socks and slippers and mittens and all sorts of delightful softness.
Something about Fall makes me feel fresh and new and excited about life. Maybe its just the memories of going back to school shopping, and the mind-numbing excitement of the FIRST day of school and new books that smelt like experience and new clothes and new pencils and erasers that are shiny and perfectly proportioned...
The brisk breeze slapping a coat of fresh pink on our noses and cheeks numb from the wind and excitement and coldness tingling our lungs and being out of breath as we flopped in our desks with excited bright faces....

Why do we have to grow up and lose our childish innocent view of the world and lose our excitement for the little things that made our little hearts thrill and jump.. the fear of the needle was so real but when I hugged my teddy bear it was all better... Little feet and little hands that never expected that the world would try to destroy their happiness one day and chew them up and spit them out and that some days they would wake up and dread life and wonder if they ever could be happy again...
Then some day they would become happy and think they loved life but in the back of their mind they would always remember those tiny little feet that wore flashing shoes and that excited little girl with the long braid that everyone pulled that was so excited about field trips that she could go to sleep the night before even if she pinched her little eyes closed so tight she saw little orange speckles...
And my throat tightens as I think of the little hands folded so tight that her fingers turned white as she knelt by the saggy blue couch with her family in the evenings, and she knelt on her little knees and could barely reach the couch to lean on it but she never knew that she would grow up and wish she was little again and wish that fresh little heart never had grown up and found out that things could make your heart hurt so bad that it felt ripped in two, or that she would ever stop skipping in public and hold her daddy's hand less and less often and start to notice how she looked in the mirror and wish she was different and start expecting other peoples' judgement about how she acted and how she dressed and how she looked... and how she sat on her bed with her pictures of horses tacked to the green peeling wallpaper around her and wrote stories about girls that were beautiful and didn't have freckles or little round noses and plain brown hair... that little thing trying to figure out the world and wishing to be someone else, she would have never believed that one day she would wish she could go back and tell herself that she was perfect just the way she was and she didn't need to try and change herself to be lovely.
She would have looked at you with self-conscious green-blue eyes and wondered what her friends would think if she felt that way, and wondered what you meant.
A little brown cupboard that creaked when she opened it covered with chapstick and lotion, walmart body spray and jones bottles... the sound of the frogs in the pond and the cars swishing past through the open window at night... the light pink plywood floor that protested even when small feet stepped on it, bunk beds and geese on the wallpaper... a closet full of dolls and the green shaggy carpet in the hallway...
That her little family would one day be her most precious possession...
That little girl never knew that she was making memories that she would remember when she had become a lady and sit and the table and type amidst tears of bittersweet nostalgia and the memory of innocence of young life.
She didn't know that her sister would survive an accident that was pretty close to death, and that she would forever remember the mixed smell of the hospital and of complete fear and horror of seeing her little sisters body twisted on the ground would clutch her heart for years and make her cry...
Or that her little brothers would grow up and stretch into tall boys and lose the baby cheeks and have to experience the world, even though she wishes that she could just protect them from it..
That her Mom and Dad would grow more precious to her every day, and they would grow more grey hairs and that it would break her heart because she would realize how short life is..
When she was 13 she didn't know that the girl she smiled at in church with the blond braid and glasses would be there through the toughest times in her life, and that they would say goodbye so many times and that they would hold eachother up while they were broken and crying, and that they would have so many eager prayers together and hug eachvother so tight and wish they would never have to let go... and that she would be my bridesmaid on that special day that I had dreamed about my whole life... and would send me off to my honeymoon and then sit with my mom and my sister in my empty bedroom afterwards...

Nostalgia hurts sometimes, and sometimes it just is a happy pain that makes your eyes overflow and your heart feel like it wants to explode.
Its become apparent to me that I don't want to be one of those people that lay on their deathbed and wish they had done things differently and wish that they would have made a better life for themselves. I want to enjoy every single flipping moment I have here, and I aim to do that.

<3

Twilight and Moonshine...

I found my joy when the sky swept down and carried me up beside the stars,

in its soft arms of milky twilight and moonshine...

and saved me from the monsters in my head.

In the midst of my pain I found comfort up there, and felt like I had finally found a friend.

We hugged as the light poured in and the stars fell asleep for the day...

We laughed and we shared a sigh that made us feel less alone...

 

Me and the sky became friends that night, 

and though we'd met before we never knew that we were meant to be best friends.

Starry Explosions and Stardust surround...

our secretive silent retreat...

A trickle of twilight sweeps over the sky...

bathing the world in blue...

A whisper of wind turned the leaves upside down...

and tickled the back of my neck,

It silently sent me a sweet serenade...

and invited me up to a sparkly parade.

The clouds tinged in purple exploded in color and rainbow-like sprinkles rained down on our heads...

A lilting expression of wonder and wishes was brushing our faces with delicate kisses.

 

And we sat there in silence 'til morning came home and melted the starlight away,

and then we slowly stood up, said our good-byes and promised to write...

We never forgot our most wonderful day.

My Favorite Bits from July

Where is this summer going?! July, GONE. Gone with the wind, faster than I could say cheese. NOT impressed. This has been the best summer of ALL TIME. I don't know why... I suppose lots of beach days and lots of other stuff made it a great month. :) Here are my favorite bits.

BEACH DAYS.
I've had probably close to 8 beach days so far this year, which is a record for me. I LOVE IT!!! This is my first summer since I was a young child that I havn't had a full-on job... so... yeah that explains it enough. I am soo lucky to be so close to an awesome sandy beach. * heart eyes*

"Coconut Leaves" candle by Bath and Body Works-
a Sweet, desserty, but fresh at the same time, coconutty GOODNESS. Nuff said.

My flowers.
They were beautiful, lush, huge and pink. I love flowers and summer<3<3<3

SUNSCREEN!
Lol. Along with all my beach days came days of pain and excruciating burned-ness. SO my Hawaiian Tropics SPF 30 sparkly YUMMY smelling sunscreen to slather on the shoulders and keep it comfy in for the next few days. :)

Crush perfume from Boathouse-
I found this scent when I was about 14 and went through about 10 bottles in the next few years and to this day the smell makes me nostalgic and happy about when I used to wear it;) It was on sale for 5$ a bottle the other day and i got some, very happily!

Also, Its 4 days into August BUT... I've had so many favorites these last few days that I have to include them!

MY FURNITURE!!!! I made my own chalk paint for super cheap and painted an adorable kitchen hutch I am keeping for Amberlynn, an adorable toy box/bench I got at the town wide garage sale a few weeks ago, and 2 crates, guess what color, white and distressed. Lol. You win the prize if you guessed that right. My kitchen, entry-way, and living-room are so bright and cheery minus the dingy brown wood stuff!!! heart eyes for that!

My new coffee table!-
which is just a cedar chest I moved to the middle of the room to make room under my white round mirror for my adorable newly painted white bench, and upon it I plopped a 1$ thrift store tin tray(spray-painted white gloss) and a beautiful clear glass pitcher with a distressed silver handle full of (fake) flowers and a little birdcage and ceramic bird and a stack of Style At Home magazines. (My favorite!)  ADORABLE!!

My pillow cases!!!
I got 4 brand new square pillows at a thift store for 2$ each and I was across the border at HOBBY LOBBY (my favorite place evers) and the pillow cases were 50% off and I got these that I REALLY like and they look nice on my couch.  

Also, Family times:) With my family and the In-laws, we've had fun times at the beach and other random stuff:) Life is good. <3
I can't think of anything else right at this exact moment.